


The Continual State of Being Fine (or how to live in Denial)

by YappiChick



Category: Halo
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 19:32:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5017561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YappiChick/pseuds/YappiChick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a brief second, Fred saw fear on the Spartan’s face and he wondered if John understood how invested he had become in the AI.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Continual State of Being Fine (or how to live in Denial)

**Author's Note:**

> Well, it's been almost two years since posting something for the Halo fandom. Amazing how time flies. I had to write something after the watching the Blue Team cinematic so yay. I know Halo 5 is out, spoilers are running around like crazy, but please, don't post any here. I'm determined to get to October 27th without any spoilers. So, let's call this sucker an AU based on canon from the first four games. <3

It came as a bit of a surprise when Doctor Halsey contacted Fred, who was checking the last of the supply list on the Autumn, and requested for him to go to the infirmary to meet the Master Chief.

“Is he alright?” Fred asked, passing off the list to Kelly. Years of working together allowed her to know what he wanted her to do without him having to say a word. 

“It’s the Master Chief,” Halsey replied, giving Fred no real answer. “Please assist him in whatever way he may need. I will be in my lab doing some last minute repairs before the Autumn disembarks and cannot be disturbed again.”

He wondered what she meant by “again”, but he knew that his inquisitiveness would not be appreciated by the doctor. “Understood, ma’am.” 

It took him less than twenty minutes to reach the facility and, not for the first time, he wondered what happened to John and why the Chief hadn’t contacted him directly. He frowned, having a problem so close to leaving Reach could jeopardize their new mission’s success. Before he could further consider the issue, a female voice cut through the air.

“Do you want to be the one who explains to Doctor Halsey why she has to mend your Achilles Heel again?” There was a loud sigh. “You know, she didn’t mention how stubborn you were. Though if she had, I might have reconsidered my choice.” 

The unfamiliar voice floated down the hall, causing Fred to stop outside room 219. This was the room that Halsey had instructed him to go to, but he didn’t recognize the woman speaking on the other side of the door. What choice was she talking about?

John’s voice cut through the air. Fred could detect a layer of frustration, though he could tell that the Chief was doing his best to mask it. “I’m fine, Cortana.”

Fred’s brows furrowed. Who was Cortana?

He pressed the access panel and the door to the exam room slid open. Inside, John was sitting with his legs over the side of the bed. His armor was nowhere to be found, which could explain why he hadn’t contacted Fred directly; instead, the Spartan was wearing loose fitting pants and a t-shirt. The smell of antiseptics and biofoam told Fred the story faster than John could: he had been somehow seriously injured, despite never leaving the base that morning.

By the side of the bed, projecting from a plinth, was an unfamiliar AI with an extremely annoyed look. She paid no attention to Fred and crossed her arms as she said, “Fine? We almost died out there and you’re ‘fine’? Do I need to tell you the extensive list of injuries you sustained out there? Spartan or not, you need time to recover, Chief. Those were Doctor Halsey’s orders too, if you remember correctly.”

John looked away from the AI, ignoring her tirade. “Fred,” he greeted evenly.

Fred stepped into the room, casting a look at John. To the untrained eye, it would seem as if the Chief was fine as he claimed, but he could see the exhaustion and stress in his teammate’s eyes. Still, he knew John was too proud -- and stubborn -- to admit anything of the sort out loud. Fred crossed his arms. “Almost died, huh? Sounds like a normal day for you.”

John turned to Cortana. Fred wouldn’t say that he looked at her smugly-- it was John after all -- but there was something there akin to triumph on his face. 

Before she could continue, John spoke, “This is Fred, Spartan-104. Fred, this is Cortana.”

She opened her mouth before snapping it shut. Somehow Fred knew that she wasn’t going to let the earlier issue go, despite John’s attempt to distract her. She turned to Fred. “A pleasure to meet you, Spartan-104. Now, could you please talk to the Master Chief about listening to sound medical advice without an argument?”

John bristled. Whoever this AI was, it seemed as if she didn’t know -- or care -- who was sitting on the bed in front of her. “Cortana, I’m--”

“Don’t say ‘fine’,” she warned.

“...fine.” There was a challenge in his voice.

The two of them stared at each other for a cluster of seconds and Fred wondered what in the world was going on between the two of them. Why did this AI care so much about John’s well-being? And why was John putting up so much of a fight?

Fred’s curiosity was clamoring up his throat, demanding to know who this AI was. Before he had a chance to speak, John turned to him.

“Cortana is the Covenant specialist that Doctor Halsey mentioned at the debriefing earlier. She’s been assigned to work with us on the mission.”

“Assigned? No, I chose to work with you, Chief,” Cortana replied, crossing her arms. “And don’t let Catherine or anyone else at ONI tell you otherwise.”

“You’re only working with the Chief?” Fred asked.

Cortana turned to Fred, directly looking at him for the first time. “While the crew is in cryo, I’ll be acting as the shipboard AI, but if we make it on a Covenant ship--”

“When we make it on a Covenant ship,” John corrected.

Cortana raised an eyebrow, but continued, “I’ll be working with Chief and his armor directly via the upgraded neural link.”

It took a second for Fred to work the logistics in his head. “So, you’ll be in control of the Chief’s armor?” Fred was extremely glad that Cortana hadn’t chosen him.

“I’m not taking over his mind, Spartan-104,” she replied, as if amused. “The Chief is just as much in control of his actions as he was before. I’m just here to make him a better soldier.”

He doubted anyone could make John a better soldier than he already was. The Spartans were legends in their own time for a reason. 

Besides, Fred didn’t think he would trust anyone, even Doctor Halsey, with just a simple promise, not with something of that magnitude. Too many things could go wrong. He looked at John, wondering how the Chief was handling the idea of an AI in his mind. He couldn’t ask him directly, not with Cortana looking at him, so he asked the only question that he could.

“Have you tested the link to make sure it’s safe for the both of you?”

John and Cortana exchanged a look and suddenly Fred felt like he didn’t belong in the room. Something -- perhaps something that would cause serious injury to the Chief -- had happened that morning that formed some kind of bond between the two of them.

What kind of test had ONI demanded of them? What had happened during the three hours since John left the barracks?

“It works,” John replied. “There were no complications with the neural link.”

“You’re looking at humanity’s hope, Spartan-104,” Cortana said with a smirk.

He looked at John, the man that he had known since they were children, then at Cortana, the spunky AI who was absolutely nothing like the Chief, and decided without hesitation that there was no way that the two of them were going to make a successful team.

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Fred wasn’t too proud to admit when he was wrong.

And he had been wrong.

Whatever concerns he had about the Chief and Cortana working together as a team had fled after the trip back to Earth on the Gettysburg. He knew what Halsey and the rest of ONI had discovered that day when John and Cortana had first been partnered together: despite their personality differences, they were both committed to making sure their partnership was as flawless as any Fred had ever seen.

He stood in the back of the command deck of the Cairo platform, as John and Cortana worked at one of the stations, seemingly unaware of his voyeurism. Fred knew he should have looked away, but watching the two of them work together made him temporarily forget about Kelly and Halsey, something his mind needed. 

He didn’t know how long they had been there, but based on the look on John’s face -- his armor had been taken by ONI for repairs when they had arrived in the Sol system -- they had been there for a while. 

John was standing next to the plinth while Cortana was gesturing at a projection in front of them. “Cortana, what am I supposed to be seeing?”

“This.” The display zoomed in on one section where a flurry of equations scrolled by.

It was quiet for a long second. Fred wondered if John was actually looking at the data or waiting for Cortana to explain the gibberish on the screen; he certainly couldn’t tell what her point was. To his surprise, John spoke, “You’re worried about the data breakdown of the clones on the Unyielding Hierophant. That it could happen to your program.”

“It will happen to me unless I can find some sort of patch for it which, now that Catherine is gone, makes that endeavour that much more difficult.” Cortana sighed. 

They worked for another handful of minutes; Fred doubted that John could keep up with everything on the screen, but the Chief made no sign of moving away. 

“Is there anything in the Forerunner files from the Halo ring that could help?” John asked.

Cortana considered that for a second. “Maybe. There’s so much data to sift through. I’ll run off a couple of subroutines to look into it.” She looked at the Chief briefly. “I know this isn’t as interesting as destroying a Covenant armada, but it means a lot that you’re here.”

There were only a handful of people who would have been able to recognize it, but John actually softened at her soft-spoken appreciation.

Expectedly, John didn’t comment on what Cortana said. Instead, he nodded at the projection. “What about the a team of ONI techs? They could help you go through the data.”

She huffed. “You mean the group of scientists who absolutely distain Catherine and her work, including yours truly?” The equations on the projection started moving faster. “If they got the idea that I was the slightest bit unstable, they would pull me in their lab in attempt to find a way to improve my model, throwing me away at their earliest convenience.”

Fred watched as John moved closer to Cortana, as if he was attempting to shield her from an enemy he was unable to protect her from. He doubted the Chief knew he had done it, but Fred knew that Cortana noticed. “They wouldn’t do that, Cortana. We need you.”

The calculations slowed down as she smirked in the Chief’s direction. “You need me, John. Someone needs to get you out of all the messes you find yourself in.”

He kneeled down in front of the holoprojector, making himself eye-level with her. “Then, you’ll need to hurry. I’m always getting into trouble.”

John’s banter was more unexpected than Cortana’s use of his first name. Fred wondered, not for the first time, if Doctor Halsey had made Cortana specifically for John.

“Is that true, Spartan-104?” Cortana asked, unexpectedly pulling Fred into the conversation. Her casualness did not extend to any of the other Spartans, he noticed. Never once had she used his first name.

John stood up, realizing they had an audience for the first time. There was a flash of something --embarrassment, maybe -- that crossed his face for a moment, but it was soon replaced by his normal, calm look.

Fred stepped closer to the pair as he pretended to consider her question. “I don’t know. I think he’s gotten into a bit more trouble since he met you.”

Cortana smirked. “Part of my charm.”

John nodded in her direction. “Keep me posted.”

“I will, Chief.”

John walked from her and to Fred. He nodded slightly as he passed him and Fred took that as his cue to follow him. They walked through several passageways. John opened his mouth to speak a couple of times, cutting himself off with a frown before a word could escape.

Finally, John stopped walking and stood in front of him. “Fred--” he started awkwardly.

“I’m not going to say anything to ONI,” Fred interrupted. “For what it’s worth, I hope she finds a way to protect herself from what happened to the clones.”

For a brief second, Fred saw fear on the Spartan’s face and he wondered if John understood how invested he had become in the AI, especially in the two and a half weeks they had been stationed on the Cairo.

The Chief’s fear was quickly replaced by determination and confidence. “She’ll be fine.”

As if there was no other option.

But there was.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

The partnership had been destroyed.

The Team had been resurrected.

No one on the team had asked John about Cortana; the respect they had for their leader had kept the three of them silent on the subject, but Fred was becoming increasingly concerned for him. John was pushing himself hard -- too hard. Mission after mission was completed with the legendary accuracy they were known for. And while John had never been the most chatty of the Spartans, he was as closed off as he had ever seen him.

“You should talk to him if you’re concerned.” Linda was leaning against the wall. Fred wondered how long she had been there as he got lost in his concern for the Chief. Again.

He drew up his shoulders. “Kelly seems to think he’s fine and she knows him better than any of us.” The words sounded hollow to him. If he couldn’t sound convincing to Linda, he certainly wasn’t going to convince himself.

“You don’t agree with her.” Though her face was hidden behind her helmet, Fred knew she was frowning. “Neither do I.”

A long silence stretched out before Fred sighed, knowing what he was going to need to do. Without a word, he stood up as he went in search of John. 

There were few places that the Chief went when they were aboard the Infinity, but there was one place in particular that John gravitated to the most. Fred made his way down to the observation deck, wondering just what he was going to say. None of his fellow Spartans were open with their feelings, choosing to let their actions demonstrate how much they care about the issue at hand.

He found John looking out the window, holding his helmet in his hands. Lately, Fred noticed how often John took it off, and always right before they started a mission. He had assumed that John had become tired of always wearing the helmet -- perhaps a side effect of being in cryo for years, he had guessed -- but as Fred approached him, he realized he had been wrong.

John’s thumb was hovering over the compartment that would have held a data chip -- Cortana’s chip. It could have been his imagination, but he swore it trembled slightly. 

Kelly had been wrong. John was not fine.

Fred knew there was absolutely no way that he could leave the Chief there, alone and lost in whatever thoughts he surrounded himself with, but he also knew that John would never willingly open up about his feelings.

“Tough day?” he said.

John didn’t even bother to look up. “I’m fine, Fred.”

“Chief, I have known you a long time and we both know you’re not fine.” Fred nodded at the helmet in his hands.

John’s fingers clinched slightly, the only sign of annoyance, but said nothing.

Fred nodded at the helmet. “Pushing yourself isn’t going to help you to forget Cortana.” 

The Chief flinched when he said her name. “I don’t--I don’t want to forget her.” There was sincerity in John’s voice. 

“Then why all this? Why the non-stop missions?”

John didn’t say anything, but now that Fred has confronted him, the issue was not going to be pushed to the side any longer. 

“John--”

“I couldn’t save her.”

Fred frowned. Despite the years that had passed since their conversation on the Cairo station, ONI still hadn’t come up with a way to cure rampancy, only how to delay it for a few years. “Chief, there was nothing you could have done.”

“If I had defeated the Didact on Requiem, then ONI might have had time to figure out a solution. ” There was a long pause. “There was a terminal with one of Halsey’s files on the Dawn. She mentioned something about a ‘recessive variant’ in Cortana’s program. It might have been enough.”

John shook his head. “It was my job to take care of her.”

Fred crossed his arms. “I always thought of the two of you as taking care of each other.” John’s head jerked in his direction, but Fred keep talking, trying to get John to see the truth of the situation. “I saw the mission logs. There was no way the techs were going to be able to save her, even if you have defeated the Didact on Requiem. At least she made her death count for something.”

It was the wrong thing to say. 

The guilt, the openness, the humanity that had threatened to escape was suddenly hidden behind John’s blank face. Without a word, John reached up and put his helmet on his head. Their conversation was, apparently, over. “We have work to do.”

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

In the end, not even the universe could keep them apart.

Fred didn’t know what to expect, not after he, Kelly, and Linda followed Chief to turn their backs on the UNSC and ONI, but he had never even considered this possibility.

The Chief, however, seemed unfazed by what was happening.

John stepped into the room, placing the assault rifle on his back, despite the fact there was a single life sign registering on their radar. Fred looked at Kelly who gave him a half-shrug. Neither of them lowered their weapon as they walked behind the Chief. Linda walked several feet behind them, her eyes staying forward.

The Chief was no more than three meters in the open room when the person stepped out from one of the pillars. Fred took aim at the unknown, potential hostile, but stopped when he recognized the face, despite how unbelievable it seemed for her to be there.

Cortana.

Fred had no idea how it was possible, but there was Cortana standing in front of them, looking as human of any member of the Blue Team. He lowered his weapon, noting that Kelly and Linda did the same.

She walked up to John slowly, taking the sight of him in. Fred was tempted to suggest that he, Kelly, and Linda give them their privacy, but with Locke and his team so close, they had no other option than to stay where they were.

“I thought...I thought you had forgotten about me. That you had moved on.” She regarded him for several seconds. “Why didn’t you ever respond to my transmissions?”

“ONI.” It was strange how that one word that had brought Fred peace of mind for so many years now caused him to be distressed. “They’ve been monitoring me closely since everything that happened at Requiem, especially now.”

“And you couldn’t send an encrypted message that could--” She stopped in mid-sentence. “Right. I forgot technological subterfuge not really your thing.”

“Cortana--” It was the first time Fred had heard John speak her name since he had given his report to ONI three years ago. There was a long pause before the strangled words clawed their way out of the Chief’s mouth. “It is really you?”

Fred shifted. Hearing any sort of emotion from John was strange, but the raw need in his voice was downright awkward. He wasn’t alone; Kelly and Linda suddenly became fascinated with the ground in front of them. The only person who wasn’t fazed by it was Cortana.

Her steps were slow as she approached him. Then, she raised her hand until it rested on the breastplate of his armor. “It’s me, John.”

Such a brazen gesture caused a myriad of reactions: Linda looked at the wall opposite of John and Cortana, Kelly did a double-take before turning to face the wall behind the pair, and Fred, unable to move, just looked at them.

Cortana stood there, not moving her hand away from John as his arms stayed to his side, as if frozen. Fred silently willed for John to push through his stoicism and react, but the Chief didn’t move for another three seconds.

Then, just as Cortana was starting to pull away, he slowly raised his right arm up and brought his hand to lay on top of hers. She let out a soft sob and Fred wondered how the Chief was handling the situation under the helmet.

“I missed you too, Chief.” 

They stood there for less than five seconds, but already the uneasiness was starting to settle over the room and Fred wished he had found a way to give them privacy, Locke or not. Fortunately for everyone, Cortana looked around, as if noticing the other Spartans for the first time.

Cortana took a step back, letting her hand drop to her side, and assessed the damage to John’s armor. “What happened?”

“I’m fine.”

Fred snorted. He had heard the exchange between the two of them several times, but now, despite the fact there was a bounty on their heads and humanity’s very existence was on the line, he didn’t doubt the sincerity of John’s words.

Cortana studied him for a second, but didn’t argue him. Instead, she nodded to Fred and the rest of the Blue Team. 

“Come on, Chief. It’s time to save the universe.”


End file.
